What is grief?

Grief, bereavement and loss

"Grief can be difficult and stressful and nearly everybody goes through it at some point in their lives. Despite this, it can be very difficult to predict how we might react to a loss, as it is a very individual process. In most cases, grief is not a diagnosable mental health problem. It is absolutely normal that grief places strain on our everyday lives and it can take a long time to adapt to life after a loss. Even after a long period, it is still normal to experience days like the difficult early days after a bereavement, but over a period of time we gradually learn to manage these." - Mind, the mental health charity

Support options

Chaplaincy pastoral care appointments

The UoE Multifaith Chaplaincy offers one-to-one pastoral care people of all faiths or no faith. Staff who would like a confidential, non-judgemental talk with a chaplain, can book an appointment via their webpage (on the right hand side): Time to Talk slots.

Spectrum Life

If counselling is something you think might be helpful, please have a look at the Spectrum Life employee assistance programme which includes up to 8 sessions of counselling on any particular area of support, including bereavement and they have some good resources too.

Occupational Health

If you are experiencing grief it can help to talk to your manager who can refer you to Occupational Health for support and advice if this is impacting your work. Alternatively, you can make a self-referral direct to the Occupational Health Team.

Grief and Bereavement Group

This group is a support network for staff members and PGRs experiencing any form of grief, bereavement, or loss. You could be at any stage of this experience including, for example, a recent loss, a loss some time ago, facing the future loss of someone close, a miscarriage, or the 'loss' of someone still living in the case of advanced dementia.  The group is a safe space for sharing/listening and practical/reflective activities with much mutual support.  These secular sessions are led by the University Chaplaincy as facilitators with Cruse training. Please note however, that these sessions are not formal counselling.

You do not need to register to attend, you can just turn up to the sessions that suit you. At in-person sessions, anyone attending is welcome to arrive up to 30 minutes beforehand if it helps to relax and unplug from work. The facilitator will also be available afterwards if you want to have a private chat (completely optional).

• How to joinFor general questions and to receive calendar invitations for sessions, contact Colleague Wellbeing who administer the group: ColleagueWellbeing@exeter.ac.uk. If you have questions about the sessions and facilitation of them please email Ramona Nash the Chaplaincy Coordinator.Upcoming sessions:

Other University resources

• Bereavement support booklet - for staff and students (note: this booklet contains references to student support available).
• Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Guidance
• Taking good care of ourselves can really help us to stay mentally well. Take a look at the ‘Self-care and staying well’ section for resources and advice.
• The University of Exeter library has an in-person and online wellbeing section you can access.

Supporting someone experiencing grief

• 'Your Colleague is Grieving. How Can You Help?' - Harvard Business Review
• At the bottom of the page is a useful infographic about supporting someone with grief from an organisation called BelievePerform. Once you click on the image you can download it (by right-clicking -> 'Save images as'). You can then zoom in for greater clarity. 

External support

• Access to Work Mental Health Support - a confidential service delivered by Remploy funded by the Department of Works and Pensions is available at no charge to any employees with depression, anxiety, stress or other mental health issues affecting their work.
• AtALoss.org, a signposting website for bereavement support services in the UK.
• "Bereavement self-help guide" created by DPT NHS.
• Cancer Coach is a programme from Cancer Support UK providing people with 6, weekly peer support sessions to help people resume life after cancer treatment. See their webpage for more info or contact: cancercoach@cancersupportuk.org or call 0203 983 7616.
• Cruse Bereavement Care - bereavement support, information and campaigning.
• Death Cafe - at a Death Cafe people, often strangers, gather to eat cake, drink tea and discuss death. Their objective is 'to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives'.
• Let's Talk About Loss for young grievers aged 18 - 35.
• Marie Curie have bereavement information (including support others), an online chat function, add hoc talk line and 'Check in and Chat' where you can access up to 12 weekly support sessions from a trained volunteer who can provide a listening ear and a safe space to talk.  Thier support is tailored to those being affected by a terminal illness, whether that is the person diagnosed themselves, their carer or loved ones. It can be any form of terminal illness, including but not limited to a cancer diagnosis. 
• NHS - Get help with grief after bereavement or loss
• NHS Talking Therapies (previously called IAPT)- an NHS support you can refer yourself directly to for talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling, other therapies and guided self-help. 
• It can be helpful to go through one of Mind’s ‘Wellness Action Plans’ (workplace, remote and hybrid) with your manager so you can both explore how they can support you more with your wellbeing. They also offer a managers' support guide.