Domestic abuse support

It is important to have a clear understanding of what domestic abuse is, how this impacts the University as an employer, and the response pathways available to our colleagues.

Our working definition of domestic abuse is any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender and sexuality. This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse:

• psychological
• physical
• sexual
• financial
• emotional

This definition, which is not a legal definition, includes so-called ‘honour’-based violence, female genital mutilation (FGM) and forced marriage, and is clear that people who experience this abuse are not confined to one gender or ethnic group.

Controlling behaviour: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

Coercive behaviour: an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim. Coercive control is a criminal offence.

Psychological: intimidation, threats to harm, threats to kidnap children, blackmail, destruction of pets or property, mind games and stalking.

Physical: inflicting or attempting to injure, grabbing, pinching, biting, kicking, stabbing, use of weapons, withholding medications or food.

Sexual: marital rape, acquaintance rape, forced sex after physical beating, sexual assault, sexual touching, fondling, forced prostitution. Rape is a criminal offence.

Financial: maintaining control of income, withholding money and running up debt in the victim’s name. 73% of victim-survivors report the cost of living has either prevented or made it harder to leave. 

Emotional: undermining or attempting to undermine the victims’ sense of worth, constant criticism, name-calling, insults, put downs, silent treatment, repeatedly making and breaking promises.

Stalking: a course of conduct directed at a specific person that involves repeated (two or more occasions) visual or physical proximity, non-consensual communication, or verbal, written, or implied threats, or a combination thereof, that would cause a reasonable person fear. Stalking is a pattern of repeated and persistent unwanted behaviour that is intrusive and engenders fear, it is when one person becomes fixated or obsessed with another and the attention is unwanted. Threats might not be made but victims may still feel scared. Importantly, threats are not required for the criminal offence of stalking to be borne out. This definition includes cyber stalking. Stalking is a criminal offence.

Domestic abuse affects people regardless of gender, gender identity, sexual preference, race, ethnicity, level of education, income and/or employment. Domestic abuse does affect more women than men; 89% of people who experience 4 or more episodes of physical violence are women. We believe support should be available to any person affected by abuse.

This has been used with the permission of Everyone’s Business project.

It is important for all colleagues to be aware of potential signs that a colleague is suffering from domestic abuse. On average someone will experience 35 episodes before reporting it. It is important to listen to a colleague when they do open up.

Signs that someone might be experiencing domestic abuse (some of these signs may reflect a range of sensitive issues):

Work productivity signs

• Change in the person’s working patterns: for example, frequent absence, lateness or needing to leave work early
• Reduced quality and quantity of work: missing deadlines, a drop in usual performance standards
• Change in the use of the phone/email: for example, a large number of personal calls/texts, avoiding calls or a strong reaction to calls/texts/emails
• Spending an increased amount of hours at work for no reason
• Changes in behaviour or demeanour
• Conduct out of character with previous employment history
• Changes in behaviour: for example, becoming very quiet, anxious, frightened, tearful, aggressive, distracted, depressed etc
• Isolating themselves from colleagues
• Obsession with timekeeping
• Secretive regarding home life
• Worried about leaving children at home with abuser

Physical signs

• Visible bruising or single or repeated injury with unlikely explanations
• Change in the pattern or amount of make-up used
• Change in the manner of dress: for example, clothes that do not suit the current weather which may be used to hide injuries
• Substance use/misuse
• Fatigue/sleep disorders

Other signs

• Partner or ex-partner stalking your colleague in or around the workplace
• Partner or ex-partner exerting unusual amount of control or demands over work schedule
• Flowers/gifts sent your colleague for no apparent reason
• Isolation

This has been used with the permission of Everyone’s Business project.

The University of Exeter will make support available to colleagues who experience or witness any form of domestic abuse. The University will work to create a culture that breaks down the barriers to seeking support, providing accredited training and access to tools and resources. Colleagues have access to web pages, a workplace support assessment and guidance to ensure each person has access to support and a referral pathway.

Initially we recommend colleagues disclose domestic abuse to their line managers. This allows the line manager to carry out a support assessment and support the employee to ensure risks are mitigated.

Domestic Abuse Awareness Champions

• The University of Exeter has a network of trained 'Domestic Abuse Awareness Champions' available for colleagues in the organisation to approach about this topic.
• Click here for the full list of colleagues to contact.

Support assessment

• A range of services have been put into place to help colleagues in situations of domestic abuse, including a  Domestic Abuse Support Assessment and Guidance for Managers on conducting the assessment. 
• The University will work with the colleague to ensure appropriate support is made available to them. The initial focus will be on completing a support assessment with your manager or other relevant staff member. The more the disclosing a colleague can be, the more support the University can offer.
• Following the support assessment being carried out, this may include, but will not be limited to utlising adjustments at work to support physical and mental wellbeing such as flexible work arrangements, IT support, time off to deal with police appointments, relocating, etc. We understand that some individuals experiencing domestic abuse may need time off to visit third parties such as banks, solicitors, schools. This can be achieved through the flexible working policies and/or the special leave policy (insert link when agreed). These must be agreed with the line manager. We will work in collaboration with the colleague to ensure a proportionate response to the level of risk.

Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

• Where at all possible, the University will provide additional support to colleagues via a dedicated external Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA). To access this resource please contact First Light.
• Where this is not possible, we will ensure that IDVA support can be accessed via other external specialist services.

Further external support 

• Free telephone counselling is available via  Spectrum Life, an external confidential service provider. 
• Safe Spaces - Organisations providing Safe Spaces include; Boots, Morrisons pharmacies, Superdrug pharmacies, Well pharmacies, independent pharmacies, HSBC, TSB, The Co-operative Bank and selected Metro Banks. You can use a safe space in whichever way works for you. They provide a safe and discreet way to reach out to friends and family, and contact specialist support services. Type in your postcode here to find your nearest Safe Space.
• Bright Sky - a safe, easy to use app and website that provides practical support and information on how to respond to domestic abuse. It is for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or who is worried about someone else.
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 24 Hour domestic abuse support - 0800 2000 247
• Mankind – Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse – confidential helpline – for victims, family, friends and colleagues. Mon – Fri 10-4 01823 334244 admin@mankind.org.uk
• Galop – National LGBT+ Helpline Mon – Fri 9-5 0800 999 5428 help@galop.org.uk
• A 'Domestic Violence self-help guide' has been created by DPT NHS.
• For economic control, Surviving Economic Abuse offers specifc support. 
• NHS Talking Therapies (previously called IAPT)- an NHS support you can refer yourself directly to for talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling, other therapies and guided self-help. 
• Podcast: I Am Safe
• HollieGuard is a personal alarm, deterrent, evidence catcher and more.
• A list of external services are available to download:  DA External Resources.

Confidentiality

• Colleagues experiencing domestic abuse may feel concerned about disclosing abuse to a line manager. Managers should reassure individuals that discussions will be held in confidence, although there are some scenarios in which confidentiality may have to be broken (i.e. safeguarding of children and/or vulnerable adults, or if a serious offence has been committed).
• If you are considering breaching confidence we advise you to discuss this with a domestic violence expert first such as the Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA). Please ensure that colleagues know that some details will need to be shared to ensure the recommended actions from the risk assessment can be completed.

If a colleague seeks advice, ensure that you can hold the conversation in private. It is important to encourage your colleague to talk and to respond sensitively. Please be aware that your response could be a crucial factor as to whether they seek further support. Be supportive and open.

Support Assessment

• Please bear in mind that this was written for the workplace, as the workplace is now sometimes the home, adapt this form to ensure it is relevant to you and your situation.
• The University have developed a Domestic Abuse Support Assessment and Guidance for Managers on conducting the assessment, to help structure the conversation and ensure all aspects are covered. Please take the time to read this.
• It is important that throughout the process you are sensitive and listen to what the employee has to say. If you need support then please contact Human Resources, Occupational Health, or Equality, Diversity and Inclusion. Please ensure that the employee is aware that you are sharing information (see the confidentiality section below).
• For information and advice on opening the conversation please see page 23 in the Domestic Abuse Public Health England toolkit.

Domestic Abuse Awareness Champions

• The University of Exeter has a network of trained 'Domestic Abuse Awareness Champions' available for colleagues in the organisation to approach about this topic.
• Click  here for the full list of colleagues to contact.

Independent Domestic Violence Advisor

• Where at all possible, the University will provide additional support to colleagues via a dedicated external Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA). To access this resource please contact First Light.
• Where this is not possible, we will ensure that IDVA support can be accessed via other external specialist services.

Further external support 

• Free telephone counselling is available via  Spectrum Life, an external confidential service provider. 
• Safe Spaces - Organisations providing Safe Spaces include; Boots, Morrisons pharmacies, Superdrug pharmacies, Well pharmacies, independent pharmacies, HSBC, TSB, The Co-operative Bank and selected Metro Banks. You can use a safe space in whichever way works for you. They provide a safe and discreet way to reach out to friends and family, and contact specialist support services. Type in your postcode here to find your nearest Safe Space.
• Bright Sky - a safe, easy to use app and website that provides practical support and information on how to respond to domestic abuse. It is for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or who is worried about someone else.
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 24 Hour domestic abuse support - 0800 2000 247
• Mankind – Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse – confidential helpline – for victims, family, friends and colleagues. Mon – Fri 10-4 01823 334244 admin@mankind.org.uk
• Galop – National LGBT+ Helpline Mon – Fri 9-5 0800 999 5428 help@galop.org.uk
• A 'Domestic Violence self-help guide' has been created by DPT NHS.
• For economic control, Surviving Economic Abuse offers specifc support. 
• NHS Talking Therapies (previously called IAPT)- an NHS support you can refer yourself directly to for talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), counselling, other therapies and guided self-help. 
• Podcast: I Am Safe
• HollieGuard is a personal alarm, deterrent, evidence catcher and more.
• A list of external services are available to download:  DA External Resources.

Confidentiality

• Colleagues experiencing domestic abuse may feel concerned about disclosing abuse to a line manager. Managers should reassure individuals that discussions will be held in confidence, although there are some scenarios in which confidentiality may have to be broken (i.e. safeguarding of children and/or vulnerable adults, or if a serious offence has been committed).
• If you are considering breaching confidence we advise you to discuss this with a domestic violence expert first such as the Independent Domestic Violence Advisor (IDVA) - see the support section. Please ensure that colleagues know that some details will need to be shared to encure the recommended actions from the risk assessment can be completed.

It is recognised that people who perpetrate domestic abuse, coercive control and/or stalking may wish to seek help voluntarily. In these circumstances, the University will work with the member of staff to provide appropriate support and access to specialist services such as:

• Respect Phoneline – Support for perpetrators of Domestic Abuse. Mon – Fri 9am – 8pm 0808 8024040 info@respectphoneline.org.uk
• Spectrum Life, our Employee Assistance Programme

Any colleague found to be perpetrating any form of domestic abuse, violence and/or stalking, may be subject to disciplinary measures. There will be a proportionate response to the level of risk.